The Miracle Minute

That first Thursday, Russell thanked me for showing up, bringing my list, and said that I was one of the few who ever followed through. When he asked for my list, this is what I gave him:
 

Russell read the list, paused, and said, “There is nothing wrong with these. These are three of life’s greatest rewards. These are things we must earn, things that money cannot buy. What we should do with these is take number one, your desire to feel better about yourself, and work with that one. What plans do you have tonight after you leave here?”

“Stop by the store, go home, have dinner with my family and, after the dishes are done, probably watch television.”

“Rather than television,” Russell replied, “I want you to do something you probably have never done. Without explaining this to anyone, I want you to find a pad of paper, a pen, and enter a bathroom alone. Once the door is closed and the lights are on, take a close look at yourself in the mirror. Look deeply into your eyes and think about what you’ve done, who you’ve become, and the person you want to be.

“This may be scary and you may want to run, but don’t. Stand firm, allow your mind to wander, waiting for your deepest feelings to surface. And, when they do arrive, please write them down.

“Most people have their heads down as if they are rats running in a maze. They believe that running is living, and they never listen to their inner voice.

“Listening to your inner voice is what I want you to do tonight. You will question what you’re doing until that first idea arrives. Then, a rush should occur.

“Write your thoughts and feelings down without judging them right or wrong, good or bad. What you are looking for are your deepest feelings about yourself and what you have done.

“Richard, you did such an awesome job with your first list that I know you’ll do well with this. Are you ready to face the mirror?”

I glanced at my watch. Less than three minutes had passed since I walked through his door. This was not what I had in mind. I had thought Russell would read my list, say he was pleased, and we would discuss my desires for an hour.

In shock and feeling cheated, I wasn’t sure what to do. My life sucked, my dreams were dead, and now it felt like Russell had let all of the wind out of my sails.

I half heartedly replied, “I’ll do the mirror thing, but I don’t think it will do any good.”

Russell smiled. Without saying a word he rose to his feet. We shook hands and I was on my way.

Had I said something wrong? Was Russell angry? Was Russell testing me?

Thoughts of looking in the mirror and facing my fears occupied my mind on the way home. I was worried about what I might find.

All through dinner visions of the mirror spun around in my mind. I searched for excuses and reasonable ways to avoid the mirror, but nothing appeared. And pushing peas with my fork didn’t help, either.

Finally, not knowing what else to do, I excused myself from the table, found paper and a pen, and went into the master bathroom, saying to myself, Enough is enough. This mirror is not going to kill me.

A mixture of emptiness, silliness, and fear filled my being as I looked deeply into my eyes. When no thoughts, ideas or inspiration came, I said to myself over and over, Who am I? What have I done? Who do I want to become?

I was stuck, until that first idea broke through. Then a river followed.

These are the words I captured on paper:

1. I have not lived up to my own expectations as a son, husband or father.

2. If I am so smart, why am I so broke?

3. How can I condemn others, when I have made so many mistakes myself?

4. I am a self centered know it all, attempting to fool the world.

5. As much as I hate phonies, I am one.

6. I do not like myself.

As I wrote these I noticed that a great weight had lifted. When I walked, my steps were lighter. The weight of the world was no longer there. That night I slept better than I had in years.

When I awoke the next morning my mind was clear, and I jumped out of bed to revisit my list. Over my first cup of coffee I knew I couldn’t wait six days to see Russell.

The fifth time I picked up the phone I actually dialed his number. Once he was on the line, I asked if he had time for coffee.

Rather than put me off, as I thought he might, he sounded pleased and agreed, provided I could be at the restaurant in 15 minutes. I grabbed my list, found my keys, and dashed out the door.

Once we were seated Russell asked for my list, and I watched his face as he read it. His face lit up as he asked with a smile, “How does honesty feel?”

“Awesome!” I replied. “I haven’t felt this good in years, which is why I couldn’t wait to see you. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind?” he said, “I love to help people break out of blindness. We walk unique paths and carry different beliefs, yet the same basic lessons are given to everyone. What separates people? Some are willing students, others are not.

“Snake oil merchants of old kept claiming they’d found something new. Yet, when it comes to living, is anything new?

“Your results—your ability to achieve those things that you want—are determined by your willingness to live in harmony with the cosmic laws, mystical truths, and laws of nature that have always been and will always be. What you need to discover isn’t so much about the world as it is about you. The battles that need to be won are within.

“Your first list, the list of all your desires, was necessary so that you could uncover your primary desires. One mistake most people make is never getting clear about what they want. They know, at some level of their being, that they want more, but they never bother to define what that ‘more’ might be.

“We need specific objectives defined in writing in order to create a game plan. Your second list, what you uncovered in front of the mirror, has given you that game plan.

“If we take these six items and work with each, every barrier holding you back will get broken. Life is a classroom, and this list is your lesson plan.

“Richard, the first half of my life my need to be right drove me to fight with life, and I refused to look in the mirror. At that time, I believed life was unfair, that God didn’t listen, and that I was being cheated.

“Truth was—I didn’t know how little I knew.

“Learning to live is like swimming in a mighty river. We may swim against the current—which I did. I honestly thought my way was the right way. Or we can learn to let go and go with the current, which is the finest way to go. Either way, the river doesn’t care.

“How did I learn to let go? There are two parts to that learning curve. One is reading what others have discovered. Many masters—individuals who have discovered the keys to highly effective living—have gone before us. One isn’t better than another; all point to the same cosmic Truths, which are true for everyone.

“Reading about these Truths prepares your mind for the discoveries you need to make. People who refuse to prepare their mind feel cheated because they fail to make the needed connections. It’s like a puzzle that we’re trying to piece together. The non readers have eyes, but they cannot see.

“The second part of learning is experience. We must test a principle before we truly believe it. Until that test occurs, all we’ve got is other people’s opinions, and other people’s opinions will not give us a backbone. Lingering doubt weakens our ability to stand tall.

“I am trying to make the challenges I give you a little easier, so we’re going to use statements from the Bible as points of reference. You do have a Bible, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I replied.

Russell continued, “Right now, Richard, how many of these statements from the Bible can you explain?”

And Russell handed me a typed list:

1. Born in sin.
2. The Truth shall set you free.
3. Love thy enemy.
4. He that hath, to him shall be given; and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath.

A blank stare delivered my answer as I said, “None.”

“Nor could I,” Russell replied, “when my journey began. The Bible was very confusing to me, with statements that seemed to conflict. Then someone explained that the Bible can be read on three totally different levels: the literal level, the spiritual level and the mystical level. Each level results in different meanings. The keys to highly effective living are found on the spiritual and mystical levels.

“Before long you will begin to see each of these statements in a completely new light. However, before we get there, you’ve got some housecleaning to do.

“Putting your life together is like building a house. First you need to see, in your mind’s eye, what you want your final results to be. You’ve done that with your first list, your primary objectives: feel good about yourself, love and be loved, and achieve peace of mind.

“Once your final objectives are clear you need a blueprint—something to follow that will get you there. That’s your list from the mirror. So, right now, you’re well on your way.

“Next week we will start with item one—your need to feel better about yourself and failing to live up to your expectations as a son, husband or father, and tackle it.

“Until we tackle that I want you to practice self honesty. This doesn’t mean telling all. It means being honest with yourself about what you’re doing and what you say to others.

“And, on your way home, stop by a store where you can buy flowers and a card for your wife. She needs reminders the same as you do.”

Having said that, Russell stood, we shook hands and, as we walked toward our cars, Russell handed me another card without saying a word.

I had meant to ask about these cards, but it had slipped my mind.

As soon as my car door closed, I read the card.

Printed on that card: