|
March 6, 2010
The Problem with Communications
George Bernard Shaw, socially conscious playwright, said, "The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred."
How many times have you said something, the other person agrees, yet what you meant wasn't heard?
Words do not convey meaning. Words only point in the direction of meaning.
The first problem we have is that everyone is carrying a unique dictionary of their own creation. Many of their words have assumed meanings.
The second problem we have is listening. Minds process information so fast that they get bored and drift in and out of conversations. In a typical conversation or presentation, the most attentive listener hears less than 60% of what is said.
And, anyone who asks, "Have I made myself clear," sets themselves up. The typical listener responds with a "Yes," even when they don't have a clue.
The only way to know that what you meant is what they heard is by asking. Back when I taught operators the use and abuse of accounting machines, I would set the stage for asking by saying, "One of the challenges I have as an instructor is covering the same things over and over. I do it so much that I often leave important things out. To make sure that that hasn't happened today, I need you to share what you heard. Would you please repeat back to me the instructions I have just given you."
Nobody likes to be put on the spot like that, but that feedback is important and the blow is softened by my taking the blame. No matter what piece of information they've missed or how many times I've said it, I make it my fault.
Communications - - the type that builds confidence and trust between two or more people, demands an exchange, and feedback is needed to smooth out the rough spots.
Never assume that what you've said is understood.
|